#AskDar - Fears about Military Life, Childhood Friends, Ridiculous Wedding Expenses + More!

Hello everyone and welcome back to my blog (or hi if you're new!). It's a new month and that means another round of #AskDar! I try to do one of these every month so if you've got a question you're just dying to know the answer to, make sure to leave it by filling out this form

Have I told you lately how good you are at asking questions? The questions I get are never easy for me to answer! These are seriously some of my favorite posts on the blog (and they're actually yours too)! I was so sad that I wasn't able to get one up in February but maybe, if I get enough questions this month, I can do a second one!

I can't believe how quickly March is already flying by. I'm so excited to also announce that those who participated in my 2017 Reader Survey will also be getting a special little email today! Remember when I mentioned that rebrand? *wink, wink* Alright, alright, I'll stop teasing. Without any more delay, let's get right on into this month's blogger Q & A! 

If you want to see all the questions I've answered, click here!

If you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

I honestly don't even know how to answer this question! If you had asked me before February, I definitely would have said Alaska. Which, ICYMI, is a thing that's happening next year! Since I guess I can't technically use that as an answer, I would honestly just have to say wherever God needs me. I know that sounds like such a lame answer but there isn't really ONE place I can pinpoint that I'd want to live. So I have to resort to the next best thing, which is wherever God can use me the best. Europe would also be pretty awesome, though!

Who were your childhood best friends? Are you still friends with them today?

I had A LOT of childhood friends. I have different friends for different periods in my life so I guess it depends on what you consider "childhood". One of my oldest friends, S/O to you, Amanda, is actually making our wedding favors which I couldn't be more excited about. I moved around a lot growing up so it was difficult to stay connected with people since it was before social media. However, I have recently reconnected with more than a few of them since social media is so huge now, which is really cool! I've never really sat down and thought about how much moving actually affected my relationships... because I was so young. But that's one of the reasons I absolutely love social media. It's so much more difficult to lose touch with someone these days!

What are you most looking forward to and most dreading about the military life?

I'm actually going to dedicate an entire post to answering this question coming at you real soon but off the top of my head I would have to say that one of the things I'm most looking forward to about military life is the new life experiences we're going to have and the memories we're going to create. I'm already working on a Fort Benning Bucket List for our short time there, something I hope to do with each post we're at in the future. I'm also so excited about all of the people we're going to meet along the way and how much they're going to impact and change us. 

As far as what I'm dreading the most, I'm definitely going to have to say deployments. I mean, duh. My biggest fear (aside from losing my husband) is that he'll be gone when we have our first child. I'm sure some seasoned military spouse is reading this and thinking, "Been there, done that." 

What have you been most reluctant to spend money on for your wedding? (For me it’s been the gosh dang cake. Why does it cost 3x more to put one cake on top of another???) 

We got lucky that our cake was actually included in the price of our wedding venue but I would have to say one of the things I've been the most reluctant to spend money on for our wedding has been the videographer. Our videographer was NOT CHEAP, Y'all. Of course, back when we first got engaged, I insisted and Justin being the amazing man that he is, caved so I could have my way. We just recently paid off our videography bill (accidentally, which is a funny story) but up until that point, I kept going back and forth about whether or not we should cancel and forfeit our deposit or suck it up and pay the bill. I don't think this is something we'll regret in the long run but up until this last week, it's something I was very unsure of!

Did you guys do any kind of couples counseling? If so, how'd you choose your counselor?

The only couples counseling we've done so far was reading The 5 Love Languages, Military Edition. I loved that book so much and it really changed our relationship almost overnight. My dad, who's a pastor, is actually doing our ceremony so he isn't requiring us to do couples counseling but if you're looking into it I would definitely suggest starting with your pastor. 

Please give any advice about outfits for engagement shoots! Long skirts or short? Patterns? Sleeves? Bad colors to choose? We know what looks good on our own bodies, but not so much on camera... Help!

I actually wrote a post on engagement shoots and did a video on it as well but my biggest tip would be to talk to your photographer! Also, just wear what you feel absolutely comfortable and amazing in! Being comfortable in your clothing during a shoot seriously makes a world of difference!

What are you most scared about entering a military marriage?

Like the other question, I'm going to be doing a full blog post on this topic but I mentioned a little about it in this post. Losing my husband is probably one of my biggest fears but while death may be the first thing that comes to mind, being a military marriage, that's not exactly what I mean. I'm an adult of divorce and having a failed marriage is one of my biggest fears. Military life is hard and sometimes even the strongest of couples don't make it through. 

Do you have a question you're just dying to ask? Use this form here and your question could be answered in the next #AskDar!