"Give Yourself the Final Rose."
With Bachelor in Paradise in full swing, Alabama Hannah and her failed engagement are already old news (in the best way). A lot of us are so guilty of spending hours mindlessly watching the drama unfold on all of the Bachelor franchise series that it made me think about how we can use lessons from The Bachelor in our own lives.
From a young age, girls are conditioned to yearn for romance. We dream of the perfect guy, the perfect relationship, the perfect proposal and we are told that those things will equate to happiness and the perfect life. We painstakingly jump into dating and suffer heartbreak after heartbreak hoping to find "the one." Even I'm a sucker for romance (heck, it's my enneagram type) and have fallen prey to this ache for love that is so bad you'll ignore pretty much any red flag to make someone fit into your dream.
I'm someone who has lost themselves in a relationship a few more times than they would like to admit. Relationships that would eventually fizzle out or end in heartbreak. I think the thing that was so endearing about Hannah B. as the Bachelorette was how refreshingly herself she continued to be throughout the process. I've always wondered what would happen if a girl (or guy) just stood up there and withheld the final rose. Not because they sent home the wrong people but because they chose to give the final rose to themselves instead.
When it comes to any type of relationship, romantic or otherwise, it can be so easy to lose yourself. Whether you answer to a hundred cries for mom every day, have a husband and a home to look after, or just trying to be a good friend we have all found ourselves in the throes of life when we realize we have no idea who we are. When was the last time you did something for yourself? Something really and truly for YOU, not for your kids or your husband/significant other, etc.
I know it may not seem like the two ideas I'm talking about here connect but stay with me, I promise they do! We've all heard the saying that you can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself and I think that saying applies no matter what stage of a relationship you're in. I truly believe that you can't fully give your love to your wife/husband/friends/kids/etc. without taking the time to love on yourself too.
Taking the time to take care of yourself doesn't make you selfish.
So go get your hair done, have coffee with a friend. Take some time to read a book. Friend, if we were sitting on my couch drinking coffee here's what I would say to you: I challenge you to do one thing for yourself every day this next week. It won't be easy but I'm here to remind you that you are worthy of giving yourself the final rose too.