Preparing to Formula Feed From Birth

May 05, 2021

I’ve kind of made it my mission since my first son to share my candid experience as a mom who hated breastfeeding as well as normalizing formula feeding and advocating for maternal medical professionals to consider the mother and mental health and not just endlessly push breastfeeding for 9 months.

So I plan on candidly sharing our experience choosing to formula feed from birth starting with how I’m preparing to formula feed from birth. My goal is to become a resource for others mamas who are struggling with finding information about formula feeding from birth because there’s truly a huge lack of information (and a lot of misinformation) out there about formula feeding.

Choosing to Formula Feed from Birth

Our story starts with pregnancy. Throughout pregnancy, I was asked repeatedly if I would breastfeed. I knew it would be hard, I knew that it might be challenging, that it might not work. I apprehensively said yes every time even though I didn’t really want to. I mean, I guess I should try, right? Is what I would tell myself. Everyone was encouraging me that I would be able to do it. But what everyone didn’t tell me is how much anxiety filled me in those first few moments after Jasper’s birth in anticipation of breastfeeding. Would he latch? Would he be getting enough? Would I get any sleep?

If you’ve read Jasper’s birth story, you may already know that he was born very blue. Thankfully I had an amazing doctor I completely trusted so when I saw that he wasn’t worried, I didn’t worry. Eventually, Jasper pinked up and they laid him on my chest. That moment was supposed to be one of the best, happiest moments of my life. Instead of soaking in that moment with my husband, all I can remember is the lactation consultant making her way to my side to “coach” me on breastfeeding. Within 5 minutes, she had given me an entire rundown on breastfeeding positions, breastfeeding techniques, etc. I never saw her or another lactation consultant again while I was in the hospital. Do you think I remember anything she said? Seriously the only thing I remember her saying was instructing me on the football hold with my tiny 6 lb baby.

Jasper was so small that his glucose needed to be checked every two or three hours that first day. I immediately started associating breastfeeding with him getting his foot pricked. Is it working? Is he getting enough of what he needs? Am I even doing anything correctly? Nurses tried to help. They threw a nipple shield on me in the middle of the night the first night. I had no reason to object (they are trained professionals, aren’t they?) and didn’t know anything about the right fit, the pros, and cons of using a nipple shield, etc. The constant check-ins for his glucose gave me so much anxiety when it came to breastfeeding that I should have stopped that first night. But they kept encouraging me. Kept telling me that we would figure it out.

When he wasn’t gaining enough weight in the first two weeks, the weight checks quadrupled my anxiety. We saw a lactation consultant who instructed me to feed him on both sides, then pump. I started this cycle and by the time I was finished pumping, it was time to feed Jasper again. The rest of my body was healing perfectly but my nipples were another story. They checked his latch. High pallet, tongue-tie, small chin. He had a strong suck but a terrible latch. They recommended multiple solutions. We saw an ENT about the tongue tie. “Most babies eventually figure it out.” She said. Excuse me? You want me to subject myself to this for the foreseeable future in the hopes that he MIGHT figure it out?

The only people during the first two weeks of Jasper’s life who told me that it was okay to stop, to switch to formula was my mother and my husband. (Thank God for moms, am I right?). Every time a doctor or nurse mentioned it, it was like something sour was coming out of their mouth. The hospital preached breastfeeding friendliness but I had barely been given any real help in the two weeks I struggled to breastfeed. My son’s two-week appointment was the day I knew I was done breastfeeding. I had gotten him back up to his birth weight and I was mentally exhausted. I was done and that was okay. That was also the moment I knew I wouldn’t be attempting to breastfeed any future children as well. Drying up after I quit breastfeeding was one of the worst things I’ve ever experienced. I got no help from medical professionals once I decided to stop breastfeeding until I ended up scheduling an emergency doctor’s appointment because I developed mastitis overnight. She didn’t provide much help either except prescribing me an antibiotic.

Needless to say, my breastfeeding experience was very traumatic. It took me almost two years to really come to terms with and accept that trauma as part of our story, however. I know I don’t owe anyone an explanation into why I’m choosing to formula feed from birth this time around but it helps me feel prepared and together to have it all out there and reaffirm to myself that I’m making the best decision for myself and my family.

Preparing to Formula Feed from Birth

Prepping the House for Formula Feeding from Birth

A few things we’ve done around the house to prepare to formula feed from birth mostly revolve around bottles and formula. We’ve stocked up on formula to some extent, we’ve got enough ready to feed for close to two weeks, and then we picked up one container of formula from Costco (which we can return if we need to).

I knew that having a good bottle setup was going to be key for us so we went ahead and sterilized all of our smaller bottles and nipples and have them organized in one spot in our kitchen. The bottles are on the counter making them easy to grab and prep and the rest of the bottle feeding accessories as well as pacifiers are located in the drawers just beneath where we’re keeping the bottles. The bottle sterilizer is also located in the same vicinity as the rest of our formula feeding essentials.

I also registered for a pretty large diaper caddy that I can carry from the first and second floor. Something we didn’t do with my son was prep bottles for nighttime feeds ahead of time. This was partially due to the fact that we had a one-story house and didn’t have to travel far to go from the kitchen to the bedroom. But the last thing I want to be doing when I have two kids to take care of is trekking up and down the stairs multiple times at night. So I have a spot saved in the diaper caddy where the nighttime bottles can be prepped with water ahead of time as well as a formula dispenser that can be used to proportion out the formula so I’m not worried about measuring out the appropriate amount in the middle of the night (once we switch to powdered formula).

What I Packed in my Hosptial Bag - Formula Feeding from Birth

In my hospital bag, this time around I will be packing both ready to feed formula as well as bottles from home that are already sterilized and ready to go. I heard that sometimes hospitals can be hit or miss with whether or not they will even provide formula so I wanted to be prepared. I bought the same formula that the hospital where I’m delivering will provide if they do end up providing it. I’m also bringing bottles because I want the baby to get used to the bottles we have versus the nipples that come with the ready to feed. I’ll be bringing those nipples just in case there’s an issue with any of our bottles but they’re the same ones we used with our son. I also grabbed a very small thing of dish detergent and a bottle brush so that we can clean the bottles while we’re at the hospital if we end up using them.

Also, I recommend making sure your partner and anyone else you’re having at the hospital for labor and delivery and afterward are on the same page as you are about formula feeding. I have heard that nurses and doctors can often be pushy about breastfeeding even after a mother makes it clear that she does not wish to breastfeed. I don’t plan on explaining my decision to anyone but I want to be able to have my spouse back me up if needed. I’ve also considered making a sign for our door so I don’t have to keep repeating myself but TBD if I actually do that or not.

For Discouraging Milk Production:

I didn’t receive a lot of advice from my doctors and midwives during my pregnancy appointments in regards to what to do once you’ve delivered in order to curb milk production. But after doing some research and talking to other formula moms, I’ve come up with a few products that I plan on having both on hand in the hospital and at home.

Bra for delivery - Nipple stimulation of any kind is what you really want to avoid when you’re planning to formula feed from birth. I still want to do skin to skin after the baby is born, however, so I picked up a low-cut bralette at the thrift store to wear during delivery. This way I don’t have to worry about having to throw it out afterward and my nipples will be covered the whole time. I’m also hoping this will help steer the conversation away from breastfeeding once she’s delivered. Since nipple stimulation is to be avoided (including hot water) I may also bring a swimsuit top to wear in the shower.
Compressive sports bras - I ordered two sports bras from Girlfriend Collective to wear after delivery, once I’ve showered and changed. These bras should be tight enough that they offer some support and compression but not too tight that they’re constricting. My milk took a while to come in after I had my son so I’m hoping that by getting ahead of the milk production I can keep it from coming in altogether.
Cabo cream - When I was trying to dry up after we switched my son to formula I used a lot of cabbage leaves. It was honestly the worst but apparently, this cream does exactly the same thing without you having to actually stick cabbage leaves on your boobs. I’ve already got this packed in my hospital bag and plan on starting to use it right away.
Pink Stork No Flow Tea - Like the cabbage leaves, I drank a lot of peppermint tea when I was trying to dry up last time. The Pink Stork No Flow Tea came very highly recommended to me so I grabbed that and packed it in my hospital bag and plan on stocking up on peppermint tea as well. Again, I plan on starting to drink this as soon as possible after delivery.
Ice packs for bras - I remember using these breast-shaped ice packs when I was still trying to breastfeed my son but I didn’t have them anymore so I picked up another set to use once we’re home. Ice helps to keep your milk from coming in so that’s the point behind these. I’ve also grabbed some soothing nipple covers but I don’t know if I’ll actually end up using those or not.
Reusable breast pads - On the off chance that my milk does come in quickly or at all, I picked up some reusable breast pads to put in my bra to catch any leakage. Hopefully, these will also help me avoid nipple stimulation as well.