5 Affirmations for when Solo-Parenting is Hard

May 28, 2020

When I became a military spouse I knew there would be numerous periods of solo-parenting. However, just like nothing truly prepares you for motherhood the same can also be said for periods of solo-parenting. I did not anticipate a deployment in the first year of my son’s life and I surely did not expect a global pandemic to sweep through at the same time leaving me truly on my own. So today I thought it was important to share these 5 affirmations for when solo-parenting is hard. I have these affirmations written down in my phone so I can quickly find them when I need to. It’s a great way for me to remember to take a breath and recenter myself when solo-parenting gets hard.

Admitting that I’m struggling with anything is hard for me so getting to a place where I can admit that mothering is hard has been an internal battle I’ve faced daily in the last few months. I know there are many of you out there who can relate. We love our kids, we truly do, but sometimes there are moments where we just feel defeated, especially when you’re solo-parenting.

Take these affirmations, sister. Write them down, repeat them until they sink in. Keep them close so you know where to find them when mothering gets hard.

5 Affirmations for when Solo-Parenting is Hard

1- My child is loved

This is number one for a reason. On hard days it can be so easy to feel defeated and like you’re a terrible mother. Maybe you let your temper get out of control, maybe you got frustrated easily, maybe you spent more time on your phone than with your child. But at the end of the day remind yourself that your child is loved. Every night when I put Jasper down for bed, I speak this affirmation as I close his door behind me. If you have given your child a sense of security and let them know that they are loved then at the end of the day, no matter what else, you can rest in that.

2- It will not be like this forever

One of the easiest things we can do as mothers are wish time away. Wish they were more actively playing by themselves, wish for less supervision, etc. But I love this affirmation because it reminds me to hold on to these moments. The moments when your baby just wants to be held, when only you can comfort them. When you’re solo-parenting being the only comfort to your child and the only caregiver can be draining but I love grounding myself in this affirmation to remind myself to be gentle with both him and myself.

3- One bad day does not make me a bad mom

The bad days seem like they’re really bad when you’re solo-parenting. I cannot even tell you how many times I’ve had to put Jasper safely in his room and close the door so we can both cry over the last few months. With everything else, you can’t be your best every single day. When you’re solo-parenting eventually you’re going to have a bad day with your child. It’s important to remember that one bad day doesn’t make you a bad mother. There will be days where you’re going to yell more than you want, where you’re going to get frustrated more easily, but remember this affirmation. You are a good mom despite your bad days.

4- Taking care of myself is important too

The saying “you can’t pour from an empty cup” comes to mind here. It’s critical as a mother but especially when you’re in a season of solo-parenting to not forget about yourself. It can be so easy to let your self-care fall by the wayside but if you do this you’ll quickly find that you have more bad days than good in a week. It is not selfish to do things for yourself during this time. If you need to just stay in bed during nap time, do it mama. If self-care is a full at-home spa night in the evenings or one (or two) glasses of wine once the kiddos are in bed, so be it. I love this affirmation because taking care of myself is usually the first thing to go when I’m feeling stressed or overwhelmed when it should be the opposite.

5- I don’t need to get it right all of the time

We are so hard on ourselves as mamas. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve second-guessed something having to do with raising Jasper. Do I let him have too many snacks? Should I be giving him a pacifier during the day at this age? The list goes on and on. You can make yourself sick from the number of “perfect” parenting decisions that are out there to make. I love this affirmation the most because it reminds me that there’s no way I can get it right all of the time. All I can do is follow my instincts and try my best with him. At the end of the day he is happy and healthy and loved and that is all that matters.