53 Pieces of Deployment Advice for Military Spouses

Feb 13, 2020

Preparing for a season of deployment isn’t something they teach you. In fact, nothing I’ve experienced in my almost 28 years of life has been able to prepare me for all of the emotions that overwhelm you leading up to a deployment. Deployments may be one of the worst parts of military life but one of the best things about military life is the community. So, I knew exactly where to turn when I was looking for deployment advice.

No matter how many times you and your spouse have been through a deployment, military spouses can all agree that advice on deployment is crucial to the success of military relationships. Whether you are a seasoned military spouse or looking for deployment advice for girlfriends, I know that the advice given to me by 37 different military spouses will be helpful to you.

Thank you to everyone who sent their advice in! I know it is going to help so many people out there!

I wanted to lead this post off with a post my friend Madelaine shared:

Today marks the halfway point of this deployment. 50% is complete. Like wow!! Since I have had 4ish months to ponder things, here are some deployment thoughts/suggestions that have been on my mind.
1. you find out who your friends are during deployments. It’s so easy to text/call/send words of encouragement when your loved one first leaves, but who are the people checking in on you months later? Kudos especially to the people who continue to check in despite my sometimes dismal response rate. Thank you, truly.
2. It’s okay to not be okay. Some days are harder than others. Give yourself and your loved one grace because tomorrow is a new day, another day closer to homecoming.
3. Be patient with yourself as you adjust to your new normal. You are used to operating as a unit, but for the foreseeable future you are going to be tasked with keeping everything running with only 50% of the manpower. Remember you are SO much stronger than you think. You’ve got this. Trust me.
4. Be prepared for unreliable WiFi. It’s going to be your new normal, unfortunately. A five minute phone call turns into twenty minutes.
5. Get out of your house, whether it’s taking the dog for a walk, going to sit at a friend’s house, grabbing coffee, volunteering, going shopping, whatever it is, just GET OUT.
6. Pursue something with such veracity that by the time your loved one is home you’ll be an aficionado.
7. Avoid saying, “well, you knew what you signed up for,” or “wow, time is flying by.” Both statement are beyond irritating, so be cognizant.
8. Use the time as an opportunity to deep clean and get rid of clutter in your house. It’s amazing the amount of stuff I’ve moved from house to house, but haven’t worn or used in the last year if not longer.
9. Find people who are in the same chapter of life as you. This way you don’t have to explain what’s going on or how you feel because you are with people who just get it. My deployment peeps know who they are ♥️
10. If you see something scary on the news, please don’t text me or any family member who has a loved one deployed. All it does is send our anxiety through the roof as we desperately wait for a text saying, “I’m okay.”
11. Set goals for yourself, SMART goals preferably. For example, I want to save $30,000, read ten books, lose five pounds, and travel to one new city (preferably somewhere abroad).
12. Save yourself the heartache and just avoid social media on holidays because it’s going to lead to nothing other than a pity party for one.

13. Get out and stay busy, try new things, hang out with people

14. Keep yourself busy, take up hobbies, get a routine, and practice self-care

15. Surround yourself with family and loved friends

16. Take up new hobbies, find routine throughout your week

17. Make friends, set goals, travel, find yourself

18. Start a routine for yourself, have some fun every now and then

19. The first few days are the hardest, adjusting to not having them in the house

20. Find hobbies and try new things a few times a month

21. Stay away from the news

22. Get organized, essential documents, bills, etc. and learn how to change a tire (it’ll happen)

23. Take one day at a time, truly give yourself so much grace during these times

24. Take advantage of every program on your post/base. there are likely many!

25. Make sure you get time away from your kids. Pay the babysitter! Swap with friends!

26. Don’t put your life on hold. Do fun things. Have a hobby. Get out f the house!

27. It’s okay to cry into your wine cup at the end of every night

28. Your life isn’t on pause while your spouse is away, you matter too!

29. Get out of the house & see friends, don’t sulk in the house alone

30. Spend time on yourself! Find a hobby, get healthy, volunteer. Do something for yoU!

31. Plan something fun to look forward to every month

32. Get into a routine

33. Make goals and to-do lists (overall and broken down by month)

34. Stay busy, travel to see family and workout

35. Give yourself grace and always give yourself things to look forward to

36. Do things to keep your marriage strong before they leave

37. Find something to do for yourself. Discover a new hobby, a new love for something

38. The first day is the hardest and the last month goes by really slow surround yourself

39. Sign up for new things. MOPs, Fit4Mom, wine/art night. Things on your calendar to look forward to

40. Get involved SOMEWHERE

41. Don’t compare it to others

42. Plug into a community! Get involved (even when you’re an introvert, especially then!)

43. Get out of the house

44. It’s okay to be angry with the fact they’re gone even though you “chose this life”

45. Get involved in work and find an extra hobby. Get a few books you want to read

46. Set boundaries! if you have friends/family who try to push you, say no! Do the things you want

47. Keep your personal life drama away from your spouse/significant other. They have enough to worry about

48. Schedule time to talk if you’re able to. make sure you’re mindful of the time difference

49. Keep a journal of all of the emotions you go through

50. Set goals throughout the deployment

51. Get the “doing time” app! plan out some trips or have people visit you/find ways to stay busy

52. Always talk to your people. Whoever you trust. Don’t isolate yourself!

53. Just one day at a time. The month before they come home is the LONGEST.

53 Pieces of Deployment Advice for Military Spouses

Do you have deployment advice you’d like to add to the list? Leave a comment below!

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