Reader Question: Staying Positive while Dating a West Point Cadet

Oct 11, 2018

How to Stay Positive while Dating a West Point Cadet

Introducing Reader Questions! Reader Questions on Made in Mom Jeans is exactly what it sounds like. You guys send me questions and, with your permission, of course, I turn them into blog posts to help out others who may be going through similar situations! I love the idea of sharing my responses with not only the ones who asked the questions but also with the rest of you guys out there who can sometimes be in such similar circumstances and not even know it! Now, let's dive into the first Reader Question! Today’s Reader Questions is all about staying positive while dating a West Point cadet!

PS: Got a question to ask? You can contact me here!

Hello Darrian,
I have been following you on Instagram and I am inspired by you!
My boyfriend is currently a cow at West Point and I am about to finish nursing school. We started dating about 3 weeks before he went off to beast, our whole relationship has been all about West Point and long distance. But we make it work!
I guess my question is how did you do it? How were you able to stay happy and positive while your significant other was at West Point. How did you not let any negativity affect your relationship?
Thank you for taking the time to read this, I look forward to talking with you and getting a real perspective on the situation.

West Point is definitely a unique circumstance for those of us who are going through/have been through it. If you've dated a Cadet a West Point, another military academy, or even been in a long distance relationship then you know the kinds of unique challenges that couples in these types of situations face. Even those who don't have experience with military academies but are military spouses and military significant others can also relate. For those of you who don't know, I had a kind of different situation because I wasn't long distance (even though it felt like it sometimes!). Despite not being long distance with my cadet, we were not unscathed by the struggles of being in a West Point relationship. We struggled with having to be flexible with our plans, not having our weekends truly to just ourselves, and many of the other struggles West Point and military academy couples experience. That being said, every challenge we faced made my husband and I that much stronger as we began the transition from West Point to the big Army and beyond.

I think that every situation in life is truly what you make of it and that a positive mindset can truly push you through even the hardest days when you're dating someone at West Point. Early on in our relationship, I realized how much negativity affected the relationships of other couples who were going through the same things we were. I know that we had it "easier" than most West Point couples do but when I saw all of the people talking about how much they hated West Point and were just ready for it to be over, I simply made a choice to not approach the situation from that standpoint. Instead, I took it for what it was, which is a unique and very special opportunity that not many people get to experience. I went into every situation with a positive mindset and I truly believe that is what helped me get through those years! I really enjoyed every event we went to and did as many West Point related things as I could which made it seem a lot less more alien.

When you're young, four years of your life seems like it is SO MUCH time but in reality, it's not! When it gets hard, think about how far you guys have already come. During your Cadet's career at West Point you kind of reach a moment when you just realize "Holy crap, we're at X milestone already" and then you see that you've kind of just been wishing time away instead of cherishing each moment. It sounds cliche but life is truly too short to just wish it all away. You learn to strike a balance between wishing for the future and living in the moment.

I know that approaching anything at West Point with a positive attitude is way easier said than done. It can definitely be super frustrating at times. But here's a secret: everyone experiences frustration at some point or another, you can just choose to let it taint the way you look at the world or brush it off and choose joy.

Tips for maintaining your positivity:

Find/create the small group of friends that you can go to and complain to NO MATTER the situation.
Lean on the people who have been through it and gone before you!
Keep countdowns for each exciting part of the journey
Celebrate EVERY milestone, no matter how small
Remember that it's only a small slice of your lifetime
It’s OKAY to get frustrated, mad, angry, etc. sometimes but don’t let it follow you for too long