Realistic Self-Care Tips for Military Spouses

Dec 19, 2021

As a military spouse, self-care can quickly be pushed aside and forgotten about. A lot of the time military spouses are wearing ten different hats and trying to keep their heads afloat through constantly changing tides. How are we supposed to focus on self-care as military spouses when sometimes we don’t even know when our partners are going to be coming and going?

While researching the topic of self-care, I struggled with a lot of the resources and articles that I was finding. A lot of the self-care advice I was finding just wasn’t applicable to military life.. So I wanted to put together this short guide on self-care tips for military spouses. I really wanted to focus on bringing you actionable advice that wasn’t totally unrealistic for the burdens of military life.

So what is self-care and why is it important?

Apparently, self-care is such a big deal that there’s actually a freaking international foundation dedicated to it. Who knew? Anyways, their website quotes this definition from the World Health Organization that I think really encompasses what self-care is at its core.

‘Self-Care is what people do for themselves to establish and maintain health, and to prevent and deal with illness. It is a broad concept encompassing hygiene (general and personal), nutrition (type and quality of food eaten), lifestyle (sporting activities, leisure etc.), environmental factors (living conditions, social habits, etc.) socio-economic factors (income level, cultural beliefs, etc.) and self-medication.’

Self-care is going to look different for everyone and it is always changing. But I think there is an important distinction to be made here. A lot of the time, as I mentioned in last week’s Off the Cuff newsletter, self-care gets watered down to simple hygiene tasks when it should be encompassing your entire being. I know this is something I definitely experience as a new mom. What self-care looks like for you definitely depends on the stage of life you’re in at the current moment which is one of the reasons why I think meaningful self-care is so important for military spouses.

Military spouses face burdens that most people can’t imagine experiencing in their daily lives. If two days of your week look the same, you’re having a lucky week! Not to mention the constant changes, regularly uprooting your entire lives, etc. military spouses are often the ones in need of the most self-care. In order to be a military spouse, one must be selfless because of the level of sacrifice military life brings. That makes establishing a great self-care system so important for military spouses.

Realistic Self-Care Tips for Military Spouses

Create a routine with flexibility in mind- Just because you’re a military spouse doesn’t mean you can’t establish a good self-care routine. It just needs to be flexible! I love having a good routine in place and one of the things I’ve learned in almost three years of being a military spouse is that your routines need to be flexible. Keep this in mind when you’re planning out your ideal self-care routine. For example, if there’s a day of the week when you know your spouse will be home (if you have kids) or will be out late (if you’re kid-free), use this time to schedule your more involved self-care activities. I love to go thrift shopping sans toddler in tow so I love scheduling this activity for the weekends when my husband can be home.
Communicate your self-care needs with your partner- As much as we wish they could, our partners can’t read our minds. I’ve learned the hard way over the last few years that if I don’t communicate effectively with my partner in regards to my self-care needs, he just assumes I don’t need anything. Let your partner know if there are certain things you need/want to see happen each day/week and don’t be afraid to walk them through how they can support you in your self-care journey.
Create a list of self-care ideas that accounts for military life- As a military spouse, there are a whole slew of events that civilians will most likely never have to deal with or have on their radar. Whether it’s field time, a deployment, or even a PCS move, creating a list of self-care ideas that keep each of these aspects of military life in mind will help you to keep up with a self-care routine and be able to find meaningful time to practice self-care despite whatever your military family has going on.
Keep some sort of journal- If you’re new here then you may not know that I have a serious passion for journaling. In fact, I’ve made it my mission in 2021 to fill up the various notebooks I have lying around the house with different forms of journaling. Whether you’re new to journaling or already have an established journaling habit, keeping a journal is something that I recommend to all military spouses. Journaling doesn’t have to happen with traditional pen and paper. There are tons of different journaling methods that you can use as part of your self-care routine. I think investing time into journaling is important for military spouses because journaling allows you to look back on what is and isn’t working as well as give you insight into what affects things like your moods, productivity, mental health, etc. I’m a huge advocate for military spouses taking care of their mental health and I think popularizing journaling within the military community is a great way to help with that.
Keep your self-care expectations realistic- Remember how I said that military life comes with a lot of burdens and sacrifices? Yeah, you’re probably not going to be able to keep up with the most extravagant self-care routine all of the time. Just like you want to keep in mind the different phases of military life while you’re coming up with self-care ideas, keep this in mind as well. You’re not going to be able to do everything perfectly all of the time and that’s okay! Self-care is a lifelong journey.
Focus on simple things that bring you joy- One of the things that really bothered me when I was researching the topic of self-care back in January is how complicated some of the “self-care ideas” I found around the internet were. Self-care doesn’t have to be and SHOULDN’T BE complicated. In fact, from my experience the more simplistic you can make your self-care routine, the better. Make a list of things that happen throughout the week that bring you joy (for me, one of those things is getting a coffee or some sort of nice beverage in the afternoons) and replicate that as often as you can. Self-care can really be that simple.

If you’re looking for more self-care inspiration, definitely check out the 28 Day Self-Love Challenge! You can grab the shareable BINGO board for a full list of self-care ideas as well as the 8 page PDF by signing up for my weekly newsletter, Off the Cuff! I hope you’ve found this article helpful and inspiring! I’d love to hear from you so leave a comment or let’s connect on Instagram! Don’t forget to share this with your military spouse friends who could use it too!

Realistic Self-Care Tips for Military Spouses

So what is self-care and why is it important?

Realistic Self-Care Tips for Military Spouses

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